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A letter I am about to send seems to be a pretty darn good witness as  to why sometimes being with people, face to face matters a lot and makes a difference.  It feels pretty good when you can see someone smile, or hear them sing, or feel their hand grab yours when there is a tear running down your cheek.  And if you don’t know where you can find a place where you can be with people face to face who will be glad to see you whenever you come---try a church.  Try our church.  Try Pilgrim Church! 

(And if you are changed—like my onlinedating.CON tried to change me-- you can be darned sure it will be for the better.  In fact, it might well be forever.)


Here’s my letter:


Dear Onlinedating.CON,


I am sorry I have to write to you to say goodbye.  I wish I could say it was good while it lasted but wasn’t really so good.  Hilarious? Yes.  Frustrating?  Yes.  Humbling?  Totally.

So before I go any further maybe you could pass on some words to some of your friends.  I never got to really meet them, but for a while it sure seemed like they wanted to meet me!  It was amazing that those fellows who winked first were all natives to part of the British empire even though they now live (or so they say—wink) in Southern California.

Please tell the New Zealand Dave guy whose profile picture was of him playing with a dolphin in Orlando that it probably wasn’t Disneyworld he was visiting but Sea World.  Funny how people get those two places mixed up.  And maybe it wasn’t so believable for him to say that he was going to make himself an “American” dinner with turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing.  Lots of work and lots of food for one guy.   I should have wondered when I tried to call him back on the number he used to call me and his personal extension had 14 numbers.  I have to say that his work as a mining engineer going to Turkey to mine blue garnets was pretty enticing.  And the attention he gave me woke me up.  Maybe that’s why I almost bought him the new computer he needed and why I almost sent it to Turkey and was willing to wait until he got it for him to send me the $2500 it would cost.   He was disappointed when I told him my son who is on my accounts wouldn’t let me do it—in fact I suspect he could hear my  son yelling all the way from Brentwood to ….Turkey. (The guy must really like Thanksgiving!)  I need you to pass on the information because he never called me again after I said “No.”  I guess he doesn’t like me any more.

Then the Irish guy in San Diego probably needs some friendly advice.  When you are courting, via email, a woman who is your “butterfly,” a woman who can’t wait to hold….better not to tell her that if there is a disagreement you try really hard to solve the problem without using physical abuse.  And no, if I am in a happy relationship I don’t need to keep it private.  Perhaps those two things don’t fit so well together if you are trying to find the love of your life.  And also…just let him know that I didn’t get the picture of the rose—must have been some other butterfly.  I got the picture of the Chihuahua wearing a coat and shoes.   For the record—I don’t do Chihuahuas and especially Chihuahuas wearing shoes.   And what a coincidence that he was heading to London and was going to bring back some gems.  Does he know New Zealand Dave?

Because I have had a few meetings with some good and gentle souls I would consider continuing our relationship, onlinedating.CON. 

But it seems you don’t like me the way I am.  Because at 1:58 a.m. on June 27, 2015, you changed me.  Instead of being a widow woman from Claremont, California interested in finding a man within 50 miles of home  I  became a widower from Chicago looking for a woman within 125 miles from home.  Go figure.

I like who I am and where I live and my mom always told me to be careful of people who try to change you too much.  So…

It has been hilarious. And frustrating.  And humbling.  Thanks for the laughs.


Beth (I can’t believe I am actually telling you my real name.  My last gesture of trust)